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Winston Churchill's Best One-Liners: Wit, Sarcasm, Humor, Intelligence, Wisdom, Profoundness & Hypocrisy - A Truly Contradictory World Leader!
Winston Churchill’s
Best One-Liners:
Wit, Sarcasm,
Humor,
Intelligence,
Wisdom,
Profoundness &
Hypocrisy -
A Truly
Contradictory
World Leader!
Tabacco: Let me begin by saying I detest Winston Churchill. Not because he led the Brits against Germany in WWII but because of his personal bigotry. Nevertheless I have quoted Nazis on this blog and other unsavory persons. I have even quoted George W. Bush. In comparison to that Evil Head-of-State and Adolf Hitler, I guess Winston Churchill isn’t so bad. But wit is wit, regardless of who says it. If it’s valid and worth repeating, Tabacco will repeat it even if the source is guilty of similar or worse transgressions. Having given that disclaimer, I now present the Wit, Sarcasm, Intelligence & Hypocrisy of the British Prime Minister during World War II, Winston Churchill, King of the One-Liners.
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.
A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
Before Alamein, we never had a victory. After Alamein, we never had a defeat.
Clement Attlee is a modest man, who has a good deal to be modest about.
Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
(Tabacco: I wonder if Churchill had George W. Bush in mind when he said that one – and the next!)
Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.
Danger - if you meet it promptly and without flinching - you will reduce the danger by half. Never run away from anything. Never!
Dictators ride to and fro upon tigers, which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry.
Do not let spacious plans for a new world divert your energies from saving what is left of the old.
Eating words has never given me indigestion.
Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put. (Tabacco loves this one! Now I know who said it.)
Great and good are seldom the same man. (Amen!)
He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
History is written by the victors.
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. (Tabacco: Yes, I have published this one before.)
I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught.
I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I cannot pretend to be impartial about the colours. I rejoice with the brilliant ones, and am genuinely sorry for the poor browns.
(Tabacco: That quote says a good deal more about the real Winston Churchill than meets the eye!)
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
I never worry about action, but only about inaction.
I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favorable reference to the devil in the House of Commons.
If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice, I would have English Channels round every country. And the atmosphere would be such that anything, which attempted to fly, would be set on fire.
If the human race wishes to have a prolonged and indefinite period of material prosperity, they have only got to behave in a peaceful and helpful way toward one another.
(Tabacco: Now I understand why Bush repeatedly refers to Tony Blair and NEVER to Winston Churchill.)
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time-a tremendous whack.
In those days he was wiser than he is now; he used to frequently take my advice.
In war, you can only be killed once, but in politics, many times.
In wartime, truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies.
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
(Tabacco: Winston may be right, but unfortunately democracy has never been tried – at least not in America!)
It is a fine thing to be honest, but it is also very important to be right.
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. (Tabacco: Maybe he knew this would happen!)
It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.
It is always wise to look ahead, but difficult to look further than you can see.
It is more agreeable to have the power to give than to receive.
Kites rise highest against the wind - not with it.
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
Moral of the Work. In war: resolution. In defeat: defiance. In victory: magnanimity. In peace: goodwill.
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.
Never, never, never give up!
No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism.
No idea is so outlandish that it should not be considered with a searching but at the same time a steady eye.
Nothing can be more abhorrent to democracy than to imprison a person or keep him in prison because he is unpopular. This is really the test of civilization.
Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.
Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
Perhaps it is better to be irresponsible and right, than to be responsible and wrong.
Play the game for more than you can afford to lose... only then will you learn the game.
Politics are very much like war. We may even have to use poison gas at times.
Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.
Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy; its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.
(Tabacco: This quote proves that in his heart Churchill was no better than George W. Bush.)
Some people regard private enterprise as a predatory tiger to be shot. Others look on it as a cow they can milk. Not enough people see it as a healthy horse, pulling a sturdy wagon.
(Tabacco: Churchill either wore rose-colored glasses, spoke out of his hiny or both.)
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.
Study history, study history. In history lies all the secrets of statecraft.
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
Sure I am of this, that you have only to endure to conquer.
(Tabacco: I believe him; history does not!)
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
(Tabacco: I knew there was something about this guy that I liked!)
The British nation is unique in this respect. They are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst.
The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you can see.
The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read.
The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go.
The price of greatness is responsibility.
The problems of victory are more agreeable than the problems of defeat, but they are no less difficult.
The reserve of modern assertions is sometimes pushed to extremes, in which the fear of being contradicted leads the writer to strip himself of almost all sense and meaning.
(Tabacco: A-M-E-N!)
The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.
There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall, which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
There is no such thing as a good tax.
There is no such thing as public opinion. There is only published opinion.
This is no time for ease and comfort. It is time to dare and endure.
Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace and those who could make a good peace would never have won the war.
To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.
To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.
(Tabacco: GEORGE, ARE YOU READING THIS!)
True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information.
We are asking the nations of Europe between whom rivers of blood have flowed to forget the feuds of a thousand years.
We do not covet anything from any nation except their respect.
(Tabacco: See what I mean by “hypocrisy”; this from the Prime Minister of the British Empire, the most prolific colonialist power and thief of other countries’ natural resources and work the world has ever seen. Even Tony Blair would not make that statement!)
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English.
When you are winning a war almost everything that happens can be claimed to be right and wise.
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
(Tabacco: This may be Winston’s most famous quote on this side of the Atlantic.)
You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.
(Tabacco: I finish with my favorite Churchill One-Liner in reply to a woman's criticism of his inebriated state: Woman: "Mr. Churchill, you are drunk; you are very, very drunk!")
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/w/winston_churchill.html
Tabacco: I consider myself both a funnel and a filter. I funnel information, not readily available on the Mass Media, which is ignored and/or suppressed. I filter out the irrelevancies and trivialities to save both the time and effort of my Readers and bring consternation to the enemies of Truth & Fairness! When you read Tabacco, if you don’t learn something NEW, I’ve wasted your time.
In 1981's 'Body Heat', Kathleen Turner said, "Knowledge is power".
T.A.B.A.C.C.O. (Truth About Business And Congressional Crimes Organization)
Winston Churchwell was indeed an enigmatic personality. I blame him for how
Britain viciously carved up the Colonial world to the detriment fo the new
nations yet this was the leader England needed in resisting German
occupation! A complex and brilliant man!
"Dogs look up to you. Cats look down on you. Pigs treat you like equals."
-- Winston Churchill
Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill is the greatest man who ever lived.
He stood alone until December 7th, l94l defiant, stubborn, courageous and
sure of himself and the future and he felt that freedom was worth dying for
at all cost. I have studied and continue to study this man, his life,
thoughts and words on a daily basis. I know two ladies that personally
worked with him in the War Room and, they state that if he were living
today, the world would not be in the mess it is in. England did give up
the Empire willingly, England was broke. The Commonwealth should have been
maintained because we have had nothing but chaos since it was largely
dissolved. Read the man Churchill, in great depth and you will find out
that he was indeed, larger than life. I have been to Blenheim Palace, his
birthplace and sat at his graveside in Bladen for sometime reflecting on
the wisdom that this man left for each of us to learn. He was the greatest
of leaders, there for his peoplle in their plight, resolved, unshakable
and, you will also find if you study him, he was gentle, compassionate,
loving and considerate of his fellowman. We should all strive to have
something of him in our lives. His words carried me through a terrible
situation in my life when the words, "Never, Never, Surrender" echoed to me
and gave me strenth to go on.
Catherine Scott: